Of changes, friendships and health..

Once again, I am blogging my thoughts (of course with prodding from a new friend I met recently, saying I really should write).

Since my last post, there were some changes in my plans for my creative work. The short movie project we're working on now is called, Walk With Me, which you can find on Facebook (join! join!). So far so good, we shot about 3 Sundays and we have about 6 more weekends to go. Unfortunately we have to take a 2-week hiatus cos of multiple reasons, one being still waiting on a location to be released and another being one of our members of our small group being incapacitated from a torn ligament.. he should be ok though. We could have just gone ahead and shot the movie but it wouldn't be the same without him. He's too important.

I also made the decision with Danny to relaunch our previous online show, the cirKLe but we're revamping it. New concept, new host and new style. Will keep everyone updated on its progress :D

This past couple of months have been pretty weird. I've lost friends and made new ones, which brings me to the topic of friendships. As much as I'd like to think that friendships can stand the test of time yada yada yada... in reality friendships can be volatile and unpredictable. It's something you have to nurture and grow. Mess up on the caretaking protocols and it'll die. But of course that brings me to the 2 type of friendship that Danny will constantly remind me of, that is the friend that will make you feel better or the friend that will make you better. Of course, this works vice versa. Do you want to be the friend that makes people feel better or do you want to be the friend that makes people a better.. umm.. people... heh. I mean, person.

But then again, who really knows what lurks in people's minds? I certainly don't neither do I pretend to know. I have this problem of not wanting to hurt another person even if it means hurting myself. Normally, I'm ok with that, but then now I have other people who depend on me and if it hurts me then it'll hurt them too. I'm not ok with that. I don't think anyone is. It's a very hard lesson for me to learn how to say no, and to learn when I need to just tell it as it is. I'm still working on that. Wish me luck (pause)... really.. wish me luck.

On to health.. as of last week, I joined OBC which stands for Original Boot Camp. Boy, I knew I was unfit, but I didn't know HOW unfit I was. The first day was hell, second day was better but still hell and the third, hmmm.. how should I describe it.... (pausing to think of an adjective).. it was hell.

What makes it probably worse was the fact that they told me that it feels the worst the first 2 weeks. I'm like no way, it is? Mind you, that we're doing this 3 times a week for a month. We wake up at 4.30am to get there at 5.30am and start at 5.45am. It's only an hour but it felt like forever. Yet every session, I find myself going and at the end of it I feel accomplished. My old-knee injury gave me a problem today, but I find myself pushing it because its exhilirating. It's also very addictive. At first, I thought hey, I'll do this for a month then quit next month. But now, I'm thinking I WANT to do this every month. In fact, I signed up for the 100% attendance list. Woah. What am I thinking? Do I want to? Can I do it? Hell yeah! (This is weird thinking, even for me... but yeah it gets to you after awhile. No one can hang out in a positive environment without being affected, and FYI that holds true for negative environments as well, so if you find yourself feeling down and depressed, look around and see what you are immersing yourself with. Chances are you NEED a change of environment.)

I am writing this while getting ready for work and honestly after the 4th session, I feel great. Just goes to show that even a little willpower goes a looooong way. It's a matter of putting one foot in front of you at a time. Little steps. Little steps.

I'm going to work now. Till next post,

Adieu.