It's been quite some time since my last blog. But hey, it's been hectic. I don't know what happens to the hours in the day or the days in the week, and I guess it happens even to the best of us.
Sometimes, I wonder if I am going around in a spiral of energy, going up and up and up with the end still far away, feeling blessedly calm in the aura of pure chi and wrapped in my own karma. Or am I drowning in a whirlpool? Dark, dank, dreary and ... wet? No. Just feeling like something is not really completely in sync with the rest of me. Does that make sense?
Sometimes, I am dizzy from all the stuff I want to do and I AM doing and it's easy to find yourself lost and confused with the needs and wants that are boiling inside and at the same trying to keep focus with what you're doing at the moment. It seems like stopping for a drink of coffee or even to smell the flowers before you go out seems to much for you to sacrifice your time.
Yet, at least I have an anchor. Two, actually. My left and right. These two have always been there. For their thoughts, feelings, touch, but most importantly, their love. My son loves me unconditionally and for that I am thankful that I have him. And there is always Danny. Sometimes I wonder what would I do without him. Now that I have him, can I imagine how it would be without him. I think not.
Perhaps I am just thinking fancy thoughts about love and friendship and... perhaps I feel more grateful that I have two someones who makes it all better, even if I am in a spiral or a whirlpool. Perhaps I am in neither. Yes, perhaps.
Today, I spoke to an old friend. Well, perhaps spoke was a bad word to describe it but let's say.. electronically, I spoke to an old friend through MSN. A short conversation and a visit to his blogsite later, I find myself feeling... sad. Sometimes, the path of time and experience takes us to places we never would have dreamed of, and yet we always look back, sometimes wistfully, sometimes with regret, and sometimes thankfully. I find myself saddened at the turn of events and I find myself walking the path of memories.
To my old friend, should you come across this, be strong for there would come a time when you would look back and you may decide how you want to look at the path you have walked. Perhaps it may seem a trivial advice, but you know and I know the outcome of my path and you once gave me the same advice: Be strong. And I add another, Focus. Perhaps we can talk of this one day, but till then, I will let you be alone with your thoughts and when you're ready, you have two pairs of listening ears.
To my lights of life, both of you, just two words. Thank you.
Till next entry, may it be filled with happier thoughts.
