Monday, December 14, 2009
Blur times ten.
This medications is really messing with my mind. I can hardly think straight much less make a proper decision on anything. I laugh at random things. I zone out. I can't focus on serious things beyond 5 minutes. Things slip my mind. Thus far this past few days, the only thing I have done that is memorable enough for me to remember are mindless fun. Sigh. Can't wait to get off the meds. Seriously. I want ME back. I am so blur... I wanna slap myself silly.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Damn that tooth! Damn that room! Damn that... oh just damn.
With the miraculous thing they call medicine, I am managing my everyday life. Though it does take some time for it to actually kick in... which means I moan, groan and am grumpy till that magical moment where I move my head and hey! It doesn't feel like somebody punched me.
Again I had to sit out on OBC (although today I managed to actually do something before sitting out) and I looked out wistfully with a hand to my cheek (holding back tears of pain) wishing I could abuse, torture and subject my body to that thing people call fitness. *pause* Sigh. I must be out of my mind.
Good news is the swelling near my gum area is slowly going down (sloooooowwwwwly) and I think the pain is slowly lessening (or it could be the medication or a hallucination). Which means I won't be an absolute zombie tomorrow in time to shoot thecerqleproject in Tanamera, Sg Buloh. And of course, on Sunday, when my relatives are all coming over. Oh and yeah on Monday just in time for OBC :)
So many things to keep track off (thank GOD I got my organiser back from Prav's house). Monday in itself is gonna be pretty tight, with OBC in the morning, then wedding dress fitting (that darn tailor better not be sleeping on the job!!) then to the dentist to get this damn tooth fixed. And of course back to the office to get that workload of my table. Literally. I can't see my desk. *pause* Heck. I can't remember how my desk looked like.... oh wait. Is that my stapler I lost the other day? *pause* Nope. It's the puncher I lost last month. No wait. Sorry false alarm. It's just my handphone. I haven't seen THAT since early this year. *roll eyes at the mess* Oh hey... my carpet is pink.. forgot about that. Yes. The mess on my table has grown like a mutant and descended upon my pink-carpeted floors. It's definitely time to move my workload. Hark! I hear Danny's voice at the back of my mind saying I TOLD YOU SO!!
Yes. I. Am. Going. To. Clear. The. Damn. Room.
This is what happens when you have your own thing to run and one leg kicks all.
It's not my fault. How was I suppose to know that DVDs and paper folders can increase its size exponentially over time?
Ooh... my tooth twinged. Look at the time, it's time to eat so I can take medicine. (diverting this inane conversation away from that topic)
Wish me luck with the tooth extraction.
Till next post,
Ciao.
Again I had to sit out on OBC (although today I managed to actually do something before sitting out) and I looked out wistfully with a hand to my cheek (holding back tears of pain) wishing I could abuse, torture and subject my body to that thing people call fitness. *pause* Sigh. I must be out of my mind.
Good news is the swelling near my gum area is slowly going down (sloooooowwwwwly) and I think the pain is slowly lessening (or it could be the medication or a hallucination). Which means I won't be an absolute zombie tomorrow in time to shoot thecerqleproject in Tanamera, Sg Buloh. And of course, on Sunday, when my relatives are all coming over. Oh and yeah on Monday just in time for OBC :)
So many things to keep track off (thank GOD I got my organiser back from Prav's house). Monday in itself is gonna be pretty tight, with OBC in the morning, then wedding dress fitting (that darn tailor better not be sleeping on the job!!) then to the dentist to get this damn tooth fixed. And of course back to the office to get that workload of my table. Literally. I can't see my desk. *pause* Heck. I can't remember how my desk looked like.... oh wait. Is that my stapler I lost the other day? *pause* Nope. It's the puncher I lost last month. No wait. Sorry false alarm. It's just my handphone. I haven't seen THAT since early this year. *roll eyes at the mess* Oh hey... my carpet is pink.. forgot about that. Yes. The mess on my table has grown like a mutant and descended upon my pink-carpeted floors. It's definitely time to move my workload. Hark! I hear Danny's voice at the back of my mind saying I TOLD YOU SO!!
Yes. I. Am. Going. To. Clear. The. Damn. Room.
This is what happens when you have your own thing to run and one leg kicks all.
It's not my fault. How was I suppose to know that DVDs and paper folders can increase its size exponentially over time?
Ooh... my tooth twinged. Look at the time, it's time to eat so I can take medicine. (diverting this inane conversation away from that topic)
Wish me luck with the tooth extraction.
Till next post,
Ciao.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Pain and :(
Today stinks. My tooth hurts so much I can't concentrate on anything else. I showed for bootcamp this morning but unfortunately could not join in the fray. Funny how I dreaded going to bootcamp before but today I was so disappointed I couldn't join in. I was so jealous when my fiancee and sister told me about how they went off-field and took part in a challenge. Argh! Having a toothache sucks.
Just goes to show how much this changed me. I find myself wanting to do push-ups and sit-ups at the weirdest of moments. I feel like it's not right if my abs are not aching from working out. What is happening to me? It feels great to be a part of a group so positive. And hell, it's so damn addictive. I just sat in the car this morning feeling miserable I couldn't join in.
When I got home, and told my mom, she gave me something for the pain, and miraculously I don't feel like my teeth is gonna drop out everytime I move. Now why did I not ask my mom earlier!! Just goes to show that moms knows best every single time.
I'm hoping to go to the dentist this week to fix my tooth. Oh dear. I absolutely hate going to the dentist. No offense to dentists the world around but the sound of their machines drives me nuts. But alas, I do have to go anyway. Either that, or live with this pain. Nooooo waaaayy!
Regardless of pain or whatever, life goes on, and I still have meetings to go to and such. Sigh. I'm also going to the dress fitting for my lead girl in my short movie. Hopefully it'll go well. :)
More updates soon... gotta run to Subang now.
Adieu.
Just goes to show how much this changed me. I find myself wanting to do push-ups and sit-ups at the weirdest of moments. I feel like it's not right if my abs are not aching from working out. What is happening to me? It feels great to be a part of a group so positive. And hell, it's so damn addictive. I just sat in the car this morning feeling miserable I couldn't join in.
When I got home, and told my mom, she gave me something for the pain, and miraculously I don't feel like my teeth is gonna drop out everytime I move. Now why did I not ask my mom earlier!! Just goes to show that moms knows best every single time.
I'm hoping to go to the dentist this week to fix my tooth. Oh dear. I absolutely hate going to the dentist. No offense to dentists the world around but the sound of their machines drives me nuts. But alas, I do have to go anyway. Either that, or live with this pain. Nooooo waaaayy!
Regardless of pain or whatever, life goes on, and I still have meetings to go to and such. Sigh. I'm also going to the dress fitting for my lead girl in my short movie. Hopefully it'll go well. :)
More updates soon... gotta run to Subang now.
Adieu.
Monday, December 7, 2009
Of changes, friendships and health..
Once again, I am blogging my thoughts (of course with prodding from a new friend I met recently, saying I really should write).
Since my last post, there were some changes in my plans for my creative work. The short movie project we're working on now is called, Walk With Me, which you can find on Facebook (join! join!). So far so good, we shot about 3 Sundays and we have about 6 more weekends to go. Unfortunately we have to take a 2-week hiatus cos of multiple reasons, one being still waiting on a location to be released and another being one of our members of our small group being incapacitated from a torn ligament.. he should be ok though. We could have just gone ahead and shot the movie but it wouldn't be the same without him. He's too important.
I also made the decision with Danny to relaunch our previous online show, the cirKLe but we're revamping it. New concept, new host and new style. Will keep everyone updated on its progress :D
This past couple of months have been pretty weird. I've lost friends and made new ones, which brings me to the topic of friendships. As much as I'd like to think that friendships can stand the test of time yada yada yada... in reality friendships can be volatile and unpredictable. It's something you have to nurture and grow. Mess up on the caretaking protocols and it'll die. But of course that brings me to the 2 type of friendship that Danny will constantly remind me of, that is the friend that will make you feel better or the friend that will make you better. Of course, this works vice versa. Do you want to be the friend that makes people feel better or do you want to be the friend that makes people a better.. umm.. people... heh. I mean, person.
But then again, who really knows what lurks in people's minds? I certainly don't neither do I pretend to know. I have this problem of not wanting to hurt another person even if it means hurting myself. Normally, I'm ok with that, but then now I have other people who depend on me and if it hurts me then it'll hurt them too. I'm not ok with that. I don't think anyone is. It's a very hard lesson for me to learn how to say no, and to learn when I need to just tell it as it is. I'm still working on that. Wish me luck (pause)... really.. wish me luck.
On to health.. as of last week, I joined OBC which stands for Original Boot Camp. Boy, I knew I was unfit, but I didn't know HOW unfit I was. The first day was hell, second day was better but still hell and the third, hmmm.. how should I describe it.... (pausing to think of an adjective).. it was hell.
What makes it probably worse was the fact that they told me that it feels the worst the first 2 weeks. I'm like no way, it is? Mind you, that we're doing this 3 times a week for a month. We wake up at 4.30am to get there at 5.30am and start at 5.45am. It's only an hour but it felt like forever. Yet every session, I find myself going and at the end of it I feel accomplished. My old-knee injury gave me a problem today, but I find myself pushing it because its exhilirating. It's also very addictive. At first, I thought hey, I'll do this for a month then quit next month. But now, I'm thinking I WANT to do this every month. In fact, I signed up for the 100% attendance list. Woah. What am I thinking? Do I want to? Can I do it? Hell yeah! (This is weird thinking, even for me... but yeah it gets to you after awhile. No one can hang out in a positive environment without being affected, and FYI that holds true for negative environments as well, so if you find yourself feeling down and depressed, look around and see what you are immersing yourself with. Chances are you NEED a change of environment.)
I am writing this while getting ready for work and honestly after the 4th session, I feel great. Just goes to show that even a little willpower goes a looooong way. It's a matter of putting one foot in front of you at a time. Little steps. Little steps.
I'm going to work now. Till next post,
Adieu.
Since my last post, there were some changes in my plans for my creative work. The short movie project we're working on now is called, Walk With Me, which you can find on Facebook (join! join!). So far so good, we shot about 3 Sundays and we have about 6 more weekends to go. Unfortunately we have to take a 2-week hiatus cos of multiple reasons, one being still waiting on a location to be released and another being one of our members of our small group being incapacitated from a torn ligament.. he should be ok though. We could have just gone ahead and shot the movie but it wouldn't be the same without him. He's too important.
I also made the decision with Danny to relaunch our previous online show, the cirKLe but we're revamping it. New concept, new host and new style. Will keep everyone updated on its progress :D
This past couple of months have been pretty weird. I've lost friends and made new ones, which brings me to the topic of friendships. As much as I'd like to think that friendships can stand the test of time yada yada yada... in reality friendships can be volatile and unpredictable. It's something you have to nurture and grow. Mess up on the caretaking protocols and it'll die. But of course that brings me to the 2 type of friendship that Danny will constantly remind me of, that is the friend that will make you feel better or the friend that will make you better. Of course, this works vice versa. Do you want to be the friend that makes people feel better or do you want to be the friend that makes people a better.. umm.. people... heh. I mean, person.
But then again, who really knows what lurks in people's minds? I certainly don't neither do I pretend to know. I have this problem of not wanting to hurt another person even if it means hurting myself. Normally, I'm ok with that, but then now I have other people who depend on me and if it hurts me then it'll hurt them too. I'm not ok with that. I don't think anyone is. It's a very hard lesson for me to learn how to say no, and to learn when I need to just tell it as it is. I'm still working on that. Wish me luck (pause)... really.. wish me luck.
On to health.. as of last week, I joined OBC which stands for Original Boot Camp. Boy, I knew I was unfit, but I didn't know HOW unfit I was. The first day was hell, second day was better but still hell and the third, hmmm.. how should I describe it.... (pausing to think of an adjective).. it was hell.
What makes it probably worse was the fact that they told me that it feels the worst the first 2 weeks. I'm like no way, it is? Mind you, that we're doing this 3 times a week for a month. We wake up at 4.30am to get there at 5.30am and start at 5.45am. It's only an hour but it felt like forever. Yet every session, I find myself going and at the end of it I feel accomplished. My old-knee injury gave me a problem today, but I find myself pushing it because its exhilirating. It's also very addictive. At first, I thought hey, I'll do this for a month then quit next month. But now, I'm thinking I WANT to do this every month. In fact, I signed up for the 100% attendance list. Woah. What am I thinking? Do I want to? Can I do it? Hell yeah! (This is weird thinking, even for me... but yeah it gets to you after awhile. No one can hang out in a positive environment without being affected, and FYI that holds true for negative environments as well, so if you find yourself feeling down and depressed, look around and see what you are immersing yourself with. Chances are you NEED a change of environment.)
I am writing this while getting ready for work and honestly after the 4th session, I feel great. Just goes to show that even a little willpower goes a looooong way. It's a matter of putting one foot in front of you at a time. Little steps. Little steps.
I'm going to work now. Till next post,
Adieu.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Breath.
I haven't been updating lately... no surprise there. I don't even know why I would want to.. except of course some people who have been buggin me about doing that.. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE... sigh.
I'm working on some new stuff. And we decided to set aside the time to actually make a short movie. The thing about working on projects, may it be for fun or for profit, is that friendships get sorely tested. Of course, I can hear SOMEBODY telling me I told you so. But still, I do know that working on projects with friends can be rather trying because everybody is trying to be nice to everybody. We try to sugarcoat our words and try to downplay any situation regardless if we are standing on the brink of falling into a ravine. And unfortunately for me, that bit me in the ass. Like major ouch. I got stuck in a situation that is akin to being between a hard rock and a big hammer. I fell into that ravine, but a fragile tree root just saved my life. So I'm not completely lost. I just have to painstakingly climb back up to the top. So far so good.
I'm hoping that my friendship with my friends are not affected. But I might be hoping too much. I am willing to let this flow on in blind faith. What happens, happens, but I'm thinking that this group is stronger that we think.
I'm working on some new stuff. And we decided to set aside the time to actually make a short movie. The thing about working on projects, may it be for fun or for profit, is that friendships get sorely tested. Of course, I can hear SOMEBODY telling me I told you so. But still, I do know that working on projects with friends can be rather trying because everybody is trying to be nice to everybody. We try to sugarcoat our words and try to downplay any situation regardless if we are standing on the brink of falling into a ravine. And unfortunately for me, that bit me in the ass. Like major ouch. I got stuck in a situation that is akin to being between a hard rock and a big hammer. I fell into that ravine, but a fragile tree root just saved my life. So I'm not completely lost. I just have to painstakingly climb back up to the top. So far so good.
I'm hoping that my friendship with my friends are not affected. But I might be hoping too much. I am willing to let this flow on in blind faith. What happens, happens, but I'm thinking that this group is stronger that we think.
